Everything I want
by lovely bloodcry
Summary: Pearl's in love with her leader and Garnets in love with her right hand. BUT! What good does it do the two of them if they don't tell them? Garnets misunderstanding could ruin something before it even happens but can Pearl turn it all around? Amethyst also throws in a little surprise of her own.


Pearl sighed as she existed her room. She didn't know what to do. In one way she felt like this was ok and the other part just wanted to and tell Garnet the truth. All of it. How she's been in love with her for over four thousand years. How she just wanted to do anything to be near her. Even if that had meant almost ruining everything between them. So of course she lied and said she only did it to feel strong. She had to be a coward and not tell her best friend that she was in love with her. But in the end she decided it was for the best. Garnet forgave her and things were getting better. But really they weren't. She had decided to keep some distance between herself and Garnet so she could try to put this. This. This thing she had for Garnet in the back of her mind. She already knew it would do no good to keep these feelings. Garnet had told Jamie three was a crowd and it wasn't like she would make an exception for her.

Pearl collapsed on the couch. Throwing her head back against the wall. She was the only one in the temple right now. They had gotten a little break from fighting. And her brain screamed that that wasn't a good thing. She closed her eyes trying to will away her thoughts. She was tired from thinking for once.

"Pearl?" Dammit. Pearl thought to herself. Had she been that so wrapped up in her mind that she didn't notice Garnet come in. She held in the breath she didn't need as she forced a smile like she had been doing for a while.

"Yes Garnet?" Garnet didn't say anything. And Pearl didn't make a attempt to either. She just sat there for as long as she could before her nervous got the best of her.

"Did I do something?" She asked siting up some.

Garnet scuffed she noticed Pearl was doing it again. Forcing herself to interact with her when she could just tell her to go away. "No." She said adjusting her shades. "You've just been acting different lately."

Is what Garnet said but want she really wanted to do was scream. Why was Pearl acting this way towards her. She still the same around everyone else but with her. It was like she was the one now holding Garnet at a distance. And it wasn't the first time it had happened. Pearl had done this several different times over the years. Then she would get distant and leave the temple at night for weeks, or months, and once even years. Then like a phase it would be over and Pearl would come back and act like everything was the same. When it wasn't and that broke Garnet even more inside. She loved Pearl. Always has since the beginning. And yeah that seems a little crazy to love someone who points a sword in your face but she couldn't help falling for her after that. Even if she knew she would never have her because of Rose. Rose. Their dead leader that still haunted Pearls heart. She was the reason Pearl was acting this way she was again. And that made her boil inside because she just wanted Pearl to be happy even if it wasn't with her.

Rose had also taught Pearl something annoying. Their were times when Rose blocked out Garnet's future visions. She couldn't see her no matter how hard she tried. When she questioned her about it Rose said it was for her own good and that leaders needed secrets. Then she started to teach Pearl and that bothered her. She didn't like not being able to see Pearl's future. When pearl didn't say anything again she felt the need to grab her and shake her. But she got herself under control so wouldn't come apart and went to sit beside her. Pearl didn't so much as move choosing to look at the floor instead Garnet. Her eyes looked dead and that worried Garnet.

"Lately huh?" Pearl mumbled blinking.

It was hard to think with Garnet so close. All she wanted to do was crawl into her lap and kiss her. Kiss her everywhere she could. Touch the creamy skin that called to her daily.

Garnet went to put her hand on her shoulder as a sign of comfort. Pearl sprouted up before she could and started to stretch.

"Have you seen Amethyst?" she asked as she walked away to look out the window.

Garnet pulled her hand back to the safety of her chest and balled it up. She closed her eyes refusing to let out a growl. That was another strange thing that had started to happen as of late. Amethyst and Pearl started to grow closer and she couldn't help but feel jealous.

"She's outside on the beach." Garnet mumbled.

Pearl spared her a look before heading out. "Thanks." She said throwing a wave over her shoulder as she left out the door.

She walked down the steps before falling to her hands and knees. That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. She almost lost her resolve and went back to her side to ask her what was wrong. She groaned as she got up and dusted herself off before dragging her feet to the beach.

Garnet got up and punched the wall. She withdrew her hand and made her to her room. It would be best to be alone for a bit.

Pearl found Amethyst watching the waves. She sat down beside her leaning against her for a bit.

"Ran away from Garnet again." Amethyst asked her tall friend.

Pearl just kept on looking at the ocean. She knew words weren't needed as a answer. Amethyst sighed shaking her head at her friend. "P I'm telling you it will all be okay if you just tell her. Trust me."

"I can't." Pearl said looking down at her hands as they clasped together. "She already made it know three is a crowd."

Amethyst didn't say anything because knew she wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise. Then she got an idea to show her. "Hey Pearl wanna come to the barn with me?" She asked hopeful but full intending to get shot down.

Pearl bit her lip. She really didn't feel like doing anything. "I don't know. I just want to relax."

Amethyst squealed. "That's all we're gonna do. I promise! Lapis knows things that are going to help you relax."

Pearl thought it over it's not like it would hurt anything. "Ok fine but the second I want to leave I reserve the right to."

Amethyst nodded "Of course of course." She jumped up pulling pearl to her feet. "You're going to have a great time and thank me later." She said as she started pushing her to move.

"How do you know?" Pearl huffed as she finally started to move on her own. Amethyst didn't answer but sent her a bright smile instead as she fell in step with her friend.

* * *

"Honey I'm home!" Amethyst yelled as she opened the door. Pearl flinched and then glared at her.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to yell? We hear you just fine." Lapis said as she came to greet one of her girlfriends.

Amethyst blushed as she stood up straighter to receive the kiss she knew was coming her way.

"Amethyst!" Peridot said as she collided into her.

"Hey Peri!" Amethyst said smiling at her. She leaned up and kissed her other girlfriend.

"Y-you look great." Peridot said as she blushed.

"Get up you clods we have a guest." Lapis said smiling down fondly at her girlfriends.

Amethyst had totally forgot about Pearl. She pushed Peridot to her feet and turned around to her friend. Pearl for her part hadn't said a word. She was to shock to say anything. Seeing Amethyst be kissed and the look on their faces was to much for her. When she couldn't do the same with Garnet. She would never be able to be kissed like that by Garnet.

"Pearl?" She heard Amethyst say bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" She asked trying to keep everything in but it came out as a squeak.

"Are you ok?" Amethyst asked unsure what else to really ask.

"Yeah I- I'm happy for you." Pearl said gripping her arm tightly. She was sure the others could tell it was strained as they glanced at each other.

"Ok well um not to say your unwelcomed here but why are you here?" Lapis asked pulling Amethyst close.

"Oh! Um I brought her here so we could help her unwind." Amethyst said smiling up at Lapis. Lapis rolled her eyes but returned her smile. "Sure I'll help you." She said going into the barn.

"Uh Okay?" Pearl said as she wondered into the barn.

"Here! Have a seat." Peridot said as she pulled Pearl towards a arm chair.

"Uh thanks." Pearl said trying her best to relax as she sat down.

"Calm down Pearl." Amethyst said rolling her eyes.

"You weren't kidding when you said she needs to relax." Lapis said as she looked over at Pearl.

Pearl huffed crossing her arms. "How are you suppose to help me relax anyway?" She said rolling her eyes.

"We're going to get you drunk!" Peridot yelled as she bounced over to Pearl.

"Excuse me!" Pearl said looking over to the other gems who only nodded. "Human alcohol can't even get us drunk." She said rolling her eyes at them.

Amethyst laughed at her. "Oh P! Lighten up gosh were trying to help you." She said walking over to her friend. "I don't want to see you get into another funk for only who knows how long and then have to lie to Garnet about where you go at night. It won't be good for either of you and I'm worried about you. I want you to be happy."

Pearl looked at her as she said the last part softly. Her hands that hand tangled themselves in her shirt since Amethyst started talking came loose. She pulled her in close for a hug. "Ok and thanks for doing this. I know I've had you put up with a lot in the past." Pearl said as she pulled back. Amethyst blushed rubbing the back of her neck.

"Don't worry about it P." She said smiling. "OK ok you two dorks." Lapis said coming over with a pitch full of something clear. "One drunk Pearl coming up." She said placing it in Pearls lap.

"Um what is this?" Pearl asked sniffing it.

"Liquor." Lapis said smirking at her as the other two giggled.

Pearl raised a eyebrow."B-but human stuff doesn't work on humans."

"Oh no this will work." Lapis said still smirking. "Because I know how to make gem alcohol with earth ingredients."

"Go on and give it a try." Amethyst said pulling Peridot over to a ladder.

"Yeah it taste great!" Peridot said as she followed Amethyst up the ladder. Lapis pulled up a chair beside her.

"What are you doing?" Pearl asked as she watched Lapis put two cups on the table before sitting down.

"Well I can handle myself pretty." Lapis said as she took the pitcher and filled up the two cups. "And I don't want you to over drink."

"And that's all?" Pearl asked as she took the glass offered to her. She had a sinking feeling Amethyst told her something.

"That and someone has to make sure you get home ok. Plus I don't think you want those two to be the ones to do it." Lapis said pointing up to the barns loft.

Pearl sighed shaking her head. She didn't think she would live it down if the other gems were in charge of her. She sighed as she started emptying her glass.

* * *

To say Garnet was stressed and worried would be a understatement. She had no idea where Pearl was. She had A idea that Amethyst was at the barn and she hoped Pearl was with her. She had to put Steven to bed a while ago and retreated to her room after that. But when Pearl didn't come back she was worried and started to pace a whole into the floor. She could go out and look for the other gem but she didn't want to risk making her angry. She was suppose to be the calm one. The one who always had it together. But not when it came to Pearl. Pearl always left her feeling like she was coming apart and she loved it. She loved the way Pearl always seeked her out when she knew Garnet was upset but knew she wouldn't say anything. How she would sit down and pull her down as well. And after a short struggle she would have Garnet's head in her lap as she stroked her hair and hummed quietly. She never asked questions knowing if she was ready she would talk. How Pearl would dot over her after missions and make sure she was ok. Actually remember she was a gem like the rest of them and could also get hurt. She loved the way Pearl clinged to her for safety, comfort, or when she just wanted to. Pearl laughed at all her jokes. Pearl understood her when no one else did. Pearl had actually got to know her and the two gems that make her. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl was everything Garnet wanted and yet she couldn't have her. And that did more damage to her than anything else had or ever will. Garnet snapped out of her thoughts when she heard voices and laughter approach the door. Laughter that only belonged to Pearl and she froze.

* * *

Lapis opened the door with one hand as she guided a drunk Pearl into the house. Pearl tripped before she could even take one step into the house. Lapis quick reactions however caught her before she could. She slipped her arms around Pearl's slim waist bringing her back against her body.

"Hey careful there ballerina." She whispered into her ear. Pearl laughed loudly but Lapis quickly clammed her hand over her mouth.

"Hey hey! You gotta be quite or else your gonna wake Steven and you wouldn't want that right?" She whispered into her ear. She smirked when Pearl shivered and leaned back into her arms as she nodded. Lapis nodded to her eyes scanning the room to come to land on Garnet. Who was clenching and unclenching her hands. Her smile widened and she released Pearl's mouth.

"Pearl I need you to do something for me ok?" Pearl nodded as she giggled again. "I need you to poof so you can be all better." She laughed when Pearl whined shaking her head no. "Trust me it'll be better. And I haven't led you wrong this night have I?" Pearl shook her head no again. "Good now go ahead." Lapis said and Pearl poofed herself before she finished talking. She caught her gem easily and then watched as Pearl reformed. Pearl opened her eyes and smiled at her before giving her a hug.

"Thanks for tonight I really needed it." Lapis chuckled hugging her back. "No problem." She stole one last glance at Garnet. "We can do it again whenever you need to." She whispered into her ear. She released her and flew off back home.

* * *

Pearl smiled as she watched her go. She felt so much better after getting everything off her chest. When she turned around she jumped slapping her hand over her mouth to contain her scream.

"Garnet!" She hissed holding her heart. Garnet didn't say anything besides clenching her fist even harder and turning around to go to the temple. "Garnet wait what's wrong?" Pearl asked following her. Garnet scuffed as she went into her room and Pearl hurriedly followed.

"Gar-" Pearl started but she didn't get anything else out before being pushed up against a wall.

"Why I'm I not good enough!" Garnet yelled as she punched the wall beside Pearl's head. She knows she shouldn't be doing this but she can't help it.

Tonight. Tonight broke everything that was left inside so why hold back. Pearl was shaking but she couldn't stop the growl that escaped her lips.

"What am I doing so wrong that you! You how can see me for everything I am and more. Can not see it!" Garnet yelled her voice wavering. "Why Pearl?" Garnet asked desperately. Her shades fell from her face disappearing before they hit the ground. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore as she rested her forehead on Pearls shaking shoulder.

"Why do you not love me when I love you so much." Garnet whispered. She stayed there a minute more before standing straight. She slowly backed away not daring to look Pearl in the face. "You should go and forget this ever happened." She said as she turned around. Only stopping when small hands gripped her wrist tightly.

"Why would I ever want to do that?" She heard Pearls quiet voice say behind her. "When I just heard what I've always wanted to hear." Garnet gasped as she looked back to Pearls smiling face. Pearl looked down as her silent tears rolled down her face. "In all the time that I've spent loving you. Never once had I ever thought you would return my feelings." Pearl said her hands clasping together as she tried to calm down. "Then you said three was a crowd so I thought I should just bury my feelings again until the next thousand years." Pearl laughed dryly as she relaxed against the wall. She knew she shocked Garnet so she took the floor while she had it. "I spent so many years lying and hiding it. Remember when I tricked you into fusing with me?" She didn't need to look at Garnet to tell she had tensed. "I didn't do it for strength. That was a lie. I already know I'm strong. That I don't need someone to lead me and give me orders. That I'm my own person. That I'm someone you look to sometimes because you're only as strong as the best of us. No I did it so you could feel my love for you. So you could feel the love that I keep hidden away from you." Pearl looked up over to Garnet. "I've loved you for over four thousand years and I'm not going to stop just because you threw me against, broke down, and told me you love me." Pearl said smiling at her. Garnet was lost for words. The only thing that bounced around in her head was Pearl telling her that she loved her.

"Please say something. Anything at all." Pearl begged as she reached out for her.

"I love you." Was all Garnet said before she had Pearl back up against the wall.

Kissing her like she was starving. Which she was because she had never tasted Pearl but she dreamed of it. So yes she was starving to taste everything of her she was allowed to. Pearl moaned as Garnet kissed her. She opened her mouth licking Garnet's lip then biting it. When Garnet groaned she slipped her tongue in coaxing Garnet's out of its hiding place. Garnet moaned bucking her hips into Pearl's small frame. She released her lips to kiss down her jaw and clamp down on her neck. She smiled when Pearl whimpered pushing her head down for more. She obeyed as her hands worked on untying her orange slash. One hand creeped it's way back up Pearls body as she kept marking her neck. The other massaged her hip with slow circles. Garnet slipped a finger in Pearls collar and easily ripped the thin fabric down the middle. She licked her lips as her eyes roamed over Pearls body. She smirked as she noticed Pearl biting her knuckle. She was trying to stay quiet but that wasn't what Garnet wanted. She wanted to hear her. Hell she wanted the whole world to hear her. She crouched down and licked her way from Pearl's stomach to her chin slowly. She loved the pants and moans that slipped from Pearl's mouth. Pearl wasn't helping matters much with blush that was spreading down her neck.

"Pearl." Garnet said as she gently pulled her fingers free from her mouth. She kissed her hand and then rubbed her cheek against it. "I want to her you baby. I want to hear every sound I can make you make. I want to her you getting off from me." She said as she kissed her much slower this time.

"Can I see you to?" Pearl asked when she pulled back. Garnet smiled as she stepped back and her clothes were gone. "Better?" She asked watching Pearls hungry eyes look over her body.

Pearl walked towards her as the remaining of her clothes disappeared. She touched Garnet's neck noticing the way she tremored. She dragged her hand down to her chest. "Much." She said giving a little push and Garnet fell onto the bed.

She climbed on top of her. "It's not fun if your the only one doing all the marking."

* * *

Pearl was drawing little objects on Garnets stomach. She had just got done telling her what the whole thing with Lapis was about. She told her that there was nothing to worry about and she did some long drawn out reassurance for a little more convincing.

"I love you." Garnet said kissing her gem.

Pearl blushed as she reached for Garnets two gems. She kissed them both. "I love you to."

"I'm never going to grow tired of hearing you say that?" Garnet said as she sighed happily.

"And you think I will?" Pearl asked laughing.

"What do you want to tell Steven?" Garnet asked even though she wasn't sure if she was ready to explain it all the youngest gem.

Pearl straddled her hips and cupped her face. "I'm in no rush to let anyone know so long as we finally know. And I can touch you want how freely now." She leaned down and kissed right above her third eye. "Take as long as you need to and let me know when your ready."

"How did you know?" Garnet asked amazed as she held on to the smaller gems slender hips.

Pearl just laughed before looking at her lovingly. "How do you expect me to not know the gem that changed my life like the back of my hand."

Garnet leaned up and kissed her flipping them over. Pearl giggled as she wrapped her arms around Garnet's neck. "Can we stay here a little longer while I show you how much I love you?" Garnet asked as she nibbled on Pearl's ear.

Pearl moaned bucking her hips up into the larger gem. "You won't hear me complaining besides you have the future vision."

That caused Garnet to pull back and frown earning a confused look from Pearl. "Wha-"

"Stop blocking me from seeing you with my future visions. I don't like it and I want to be able to see you if something bad is going to happen." Garnet said still frowning.

"Okay. "Pearl said as she closed her eyes.

Garnet was a little worried when She hadn't opened them but then something amazing happened. She was going to ask was she okay when the visions hit her. One of them watch the moon and stars, them on a movie date, them site seeing what the war didn't ruin, them together at Stevens wedding, Pearl being there for Ruby and Sapphire whenever they split up again, Pearl being protecting her from something when she was badly hurt herself, Pearl, Pearl, Pearl,... Pearl was calling her name and she blinked with a gasp.

"That's it come back to me." Pearl was whispering lovingly in her ear as she gently stroked her hair. "I'm guessing you saw something good?" Pearl said now stroking her back.

Garnet laughed. "More than good." She said into her shoulder. And it was. So much better than anything she expected. "I love you so much."

"Oh? And hear I thought you were going to show me." Pearl said playfully and Garnet laughed at her girlfriend.

She sat up and kissed her slowly. She had never been happier than the day she realized she was in love with Pearl. She had never been more sure that she had made the right choice to just fall in deeper than she was right now.


End file.
